Have you got a hotheaded toddler at home? Read what experienced mum of 5 Amy has to say about it.

There is something that comes with having children, apart from all the hugs and kisses……tantrums.

Oh yes the fun and stress tantrums can cause!!

I remember when my first daughter started throwing hers, I had no clue what to do, here I was with this screaming mass of a child, everyone was looking at me and I could feel my cheeks getting redder and redder. I tried to calm her down but it wasn’t working, I remember just standing there with a nervous grin on my face.

I ended up leaving the shop in a cold sweat hoping that it would never happen again, but of course it did. Now, after having 5 children, tantrums are a normal occurrence in my house and I deal with them all the same way: the naughty step.

The naughty step has always worked for us and it’s on the bottom step behind the baby gate. It is a place for them to scream and shout until they calm down and a place for them to think about why their behaviour has sent them there.

Tantrums never get easier to deal with especially when you are out and about, they always happen at the worst times, a favourite time of mine was in the middle of 5 Year Old’s Christmas play, all everyone heard was a loud ‘NO’ and then screaming. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

Another great one was 3 Year Old fighting me to get back into the car, flapping and wriggling like a fish, then going rigid so it was near impossible to get her into the car. That took a lot of deep breathing but it so hard to keep calm. I do try counting before I deal with something like that just to try and stop it driving me bonkers: 5….4…..3 (shaking now) 2….. 1 “will you just STOP IT!!!”’ That is a firm favourite phrase of mine.

Another way of dealing with older children’s tantrums is to count to three. If 5 Year Old and 4 Year Old are throwing a wobbly I give them to the count of three to calm down and stop whatever they are doing, either crying, screaming, fighting etc. If I get to three it’s straight to the naughty step where they will stay for 5 or 4 minutes.

It not fool proof, some mornings I have hours of tantrums just because they won’t get dressed, eat their breakfast, tidy up etc but it is a battle of wills- who will give up first? Sometimes it is best to stick it out and say ‘no, you will get dressed or else there will be a consequence’. There is a lesson to be learned and tantrums are obviously an expression of a child’s frustration of not getting what they want or being able to express it.

I have them x 4 at the moment in my house from four little divas, they can range from screaming to hitting. I do not tolerate hitting from any of them and that is always a sending to the naughty step straight away.

 Fortunately little F isn’t old enough yet to start tantrums but when he does start, at least I know what is coming!

Do you have any tricks for dealing with tantrums? Share here with Amy and you could win a Twist N’pop cup.

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