Since we’re dedicating this week to Fathers in preparation for Father’s Day on Sunday, we’re featuring another post by one of our Parent Panel dads. This time it’s Ben looking at how and why many dads suffer from sympathetic pregnancy symptoms while their partner is expecting.

Before you say it, I know that there is nothing on this earth that a man can experience which is even remotely close to the pain of childbirth. Having your crotch kicked by a stiletto heel doesn’t even come close. But there are some men who find themselves suffering from sympathy pains when their partner is pregnant and/or in labour. The question is: are they really suffering from sympathy pains, or just being painfully sympathetic?

The fact is, sympathy pains can be very real. In fact, the condition has a name: Couvade Syndrome. Or, in layman terms, being a big sissy boy.

This is no new phenomenon. Travellers were reporting Couvade Syndrome way back when the Greeks were wandering about their empire, and were observed by the well-known explorer Marco Polo. The cause of it is unclear, and somewhat of a bone of contention within the medical community, with some saying it is the result of a person’s environment, others arguing that it has its origins in your biological make-up. Some tribes in far-off remote places even believe that this condition is the result of demons entering the body in order to wreak havoc within the family. Whatever you believe, it seems that sympathy pains are real, and here to stay.

Couvade (from the French meaning ‘to hatch, brood’) syndrome can manifest itself in a number of ways. Commonly, it prompts the father to suffer minor weight gain (although that could just be the lager), altered hormone levels, disturbed sleep patterns and even a bout or two of morning sickness. At the extreme end of the scale, blokes can suffer from postpartum depression, nosebleeds, and even labour pains – although yes, we know, it’s not actually as bad as real labour pains.

If you’re going to suffer from Couvade syndrome, chances are you’re going to begin showing signs when your partner is around three months pregnant. These symptoms will then gradually worsen as the weeks tick by, and you find yourself suffering from various pregnancy-related conditions, such as food cravings and (deep breath) constipation.

So, let’s say you’re a Couvade sufferer, complete with morning sickness, hormone changes and general grumpiness. What treatment will cure you? Paracetamol? Calpol? A long lie down? Oh, if only it were that easy. It seems, that if you suffer from sympathy pains, the best way to overcome them is to give birth.

Not literally, of course. Perhaps I should have been clearer. What I meant was you had to wait for your partner to give birth. Research has shown that once the mum has her baby, a Couvade sufferer’s symptoms subside almost immediately.

What Couvade syndrome really shows, of course, is that although us dads like to maintain a bloke-ish exterior, inside we’re just longing to see what it’s like to be pregnant. And so, to show we care, most of us develop a sympathetic pregnancy: one estimate suggesting that up to 80% of dads will exhibit signs of Couvade syndrome at some point. If you think about it, it’s actually very loving of us. And, if we could, we would share the real pain of labour with our partner as well, just to make it easier for them. Honest.

Are you a dad who suffered from Couvade Syndrome while your partner was pregnant? Are you a pregnant mum who’s partner is showing signs of a phantom pregnancy? Come and share your story in a comment below and we’ll send one person a BornFree Training Cup to say thanks.

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