In his latest Parent Panel post, dad of 2 Ben Wakeling looks at why it’s important for parents to nurture their relationship as a couple as well as nurturing their kids.

It’s easy to spot a couple on a Date Night, especially if they’re parents. They’re the ones sat in the corner: he’s wearing a decent shirt, smart jeans and clean shoes; she’s sporting a full face of make-up, hair nicely styled, smart clothes. It doesn’t matter that they’ve gone down the Dog & Duck for a curry; they’re away from the kids for a night, and they’re going to make the most of it.

As parents, we naturally enjoy spending time with our children. The main highlight of my day is coming home from work – my two boys are usually quite excited to see me, unless there’s something particularly interesting on CBeebies, in which case they barely notice I’m there. But there are times, as horrible as it sounds, when it’s nice to be away from your kids, even if it is just for an evening.

If anything, it’s good for your health. As rewarding as parenthood is, there’s no doubting that it is pretty stressful, and all of that frustration and exasperation can’t be good for your heart – not to mention your mental health.

Parenting can also take its toll on your relationship with your partner. If you think back to how your relationship was before you had kids, and compare it to now, I would be willing to bet that you’d be able to see a marked difference. The love has remained – but the attention has dwindled as you both find your hands full of dirty nappies, bottles, instructions for the assembly of a cot, and No More Tears shampoo.

This is why date nights are so important. Not only do they give you space to breathe without inhaling a cloud of talcum powder, they give you time to spend with your partner to laugh and love and talk about anything and everything besides children. It has been proven that having a child often negatively affects a relationship, and so it is in your best interests (and those of your children) to spend some time apart from them once in a while.

It’s not like you have to spend a fortune to have a good time. Go to the cinema, go out for a meal…even if it’s just a walk in the park, you will soon find that the space and time will do wonders for your stress levels and your relationship.

But it goes a step further. Sometimes, you just need some time by yourself, away from your partner and your kids. That’s fine too, as long as your break isn’t taken during a particularly critical time, such as your child’s first nativity or whilst your wife is having contractions – and it’s also pretty important that you don’t disappear for a round of golf all day every day for a week; but it is also beneficial for you to let your hair down by yourself once in a while.

So don’t be afraid to dump your kids on a babysitter or your in-laws every now and then. You’ll reap the benefits later.

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